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Bullying, Bully, Bullies

 

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    Our objectives  at My Life Direction are as following:

    Objectives:


    • To stop aggressive behavior.

    •  To develop alternatives to violence.     

    • To develop hope for positive change.

    •   To learn about behaviors that causes other people to reject you.

    • To decrease inappropriate teasing and decrease sibling rivalry.

    •  To decrease sarcasm and anger in response to threat.

    • To learn and identify self- Angering thoughts.

    • To learn ways to decrease anger.

    •   To learn to release angry feelings through self- talk.

    • To learn how thoughts of revenge keep you angry

    • Because to eliminate the bully and drop and killing of young people 

     

    Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.  Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose and the person being bullied has a hard time defending himself or herself. Usually, bullying happens over and over, by an individual or group with more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing.  Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal and physical

    Some bullies attack their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or even sexual assault. Others use psychological control or verbal insults to put themselves in charge. For example, people in popular groups or cliques often bully people they categorize as different by excluding them or gossiping about them (psychological bullying). They may also taunt or tease their targets (verbal bullying).Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website — practices that are known as cyber bullying.  Bullying also can happen online or electronically. Cyber bullying is when children, teens or even adult, bully each other using the Internet, mobile phones or other cyber technology. Sending mean text, email, or instant messages, posting nasty pictures or messages about others in blogs or on Web sites, using someone else's user name to spread rumors or lies about someone.

    BULLY-

    A bully is a person who

    • Has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behavior  
    • Abdicates and denies responsibility for their behavior and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)
    • Is unable and unwilling to recognize the effect of their behavior on others
    • Does not want to know of any other way of behaving
    • Is unwilling to recognize that there could be better ways of behaving.
    • Wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being an adult.

                            How to spot a bully in your workplace
    If you have a bully on the staff  that department, or office will showing excessive rates of

    • Staff turnover
    • Sickness absence
    • Stress breakdowns  
    • Ill-health retirements
    • Early retirements
    • Uses of disciplinary procedures
    • Grievances initiated
    • Suspensions
    • Dismissals 
    • litigation including employment tribunals or legal action against employees  

    Characteristics of Children Who Bully

    ·                                 May witness physical and verbal violence or aggression at home.

     

    ·                                 They have a positive view of this behavior, and they act aggressively toward other people    including adults.

     

    ·                                 May hit or push other children.

     

    ·                                 Are often physically strong.

     

    ·                                 May or may not be popular with other children around their same age.

     

    ·                                 Have trouble following rules.

     

             Show little concern for the feelings of others

    .

    Many bullies think highly of themselves. They like being looked up to. And they often expect everyone to behave according to their wishes. Children who bully are often not taught to think about how their actions make other people feel.

    Children who bully are at risk for school failure and dropout and for committing criminal acts later in life

     

    BULLIES-

    Some bullies are big, strong, and physically scary. But the thing you need to remember is that bullies aren’t really strong inside. Inside themselves they feel small, scared and worried that others will really see who they are.  Sometimes bullies have been hurt themselves and have a lot of anger inside them that they need to get rid of. 

    Some bullies are mean because that is the environment in their house-everyone yells and calls names as their form of communication. Others are looking for someone to dominate. Some bullies may just be looking for attention. Some have low self-esteem or are confused about life

    What are the signs that a child is being bullied?

    The pain and embarrassment of being bullied often causes victims to hide what is going on. But, there are a variety of ways to tell if your child is being bullied. Symptoms include:

    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Safety concerns
    • Sadness
    • Aggression
    • Academic issues
    • Low self-esteem
    • Deficits in peer relations
    • Substance use
    • Numerous lost belongings
    • Frequent injuries or damage to clothes or property
    • Spends time primarily with younger students (may indicate a problem with peers)
    • Avoids recess (i.e., playground) before, during and/or after school
    • Arrives to school late or just at the starting bell
    • Appears to be alone most of the time at school
    • Obtains an excessive or insufficient amount of sleep
    • Somatic complaints (i.e., headaches, stomachaches, etc.)
    • loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep
    • waits to use the bathroom at home
    • arrives home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises
    • asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance
    • wants to carry a protection item, such as a knife

    What are the signs that a child is bullying others?

    • Children who bully tend to have:
      • Average or above average self-esteem.
      • Impulsive personalities.
      • Lack of empathy.
      • Difficulty conforming to rules.
      • Positive attitudes toward violence.
    • Some bullies are quite popular, enjoying high status and esteem from their peers, and even teachers. These are called “Hidden bullies” - popular children who exhibit aggression (persistent arguing, fighting, getting in trouble).



    What are the Forms of Bullying?


    Physical:  Physical bullying involves harmful actions against another person’s body.  Examples include:  biting, kicking, pushing, pinching, hitting, tripping, and pulling hair, any form of violence or intimidation.  Physical bullying also involves the interference with another person’s property. Sexual harassment or any physical touch without consent.  Abusing someone else's belongings by taking without permission, stealing, hiding or damaging them in any way 


    Verbal:  Verbal bullying involves speaking to a person or about a person in an unkind or hurtful way. Negative remarks regarding sexual preferences, gender, age, race, ethnic background, religion, physical appearance, family status, economic status, skills, abilities or group affiliation Examples include:  sarcasm, teasing, put-downs, name calling, phone calls, spreading rumors or hurtful gossip.


    Emotional:  Emotional bullying involves behaviors that upset, exclude, or embarrass a person.  Examples include:  nasty notes, saying mean things using technology (e.g. cyber bullying using emails, instant messaging), chat rooms, tormenting threatening, humiliation or social embarrassment.


    Sexual:  Sexual bullying singles out a person because of gender and demonstrates unwarranted or unwelcome sexual behavior.  Examples include: sexual comments, abusive comments, unwanted physical contact.


    Racial:  Racial bullying involves rejection or isolation of a person because of ethnicity.  Examples include: gestures, racial slurs or taunts, name calling, making fun of customs/skin color/accent/food choices.


    Social bullying - This form of bullying abuses our desire to be accepted and part of a group in a negative way. Bullies who prefers this way of bullying turn the group against others, mainly because doing it directly and on their own is either too hard or not enough for them. The main idea is to humiliate the victim and make them powerless. Remember, it is a power game, in which bullies feel powerless for some reason and think they will gain power by making another feel inferior somehow.   Lying about someone (blaming them for a problem)  Spreading rumors, Gossiping, Revealing secrets, Making a fool of someone by playing a nasty joke, Mimicking.  Excluding someone from a group or ostracizing them


    Facebook Cyber bullying - This is the only modern form of bullying. We did not have it in the past simply because we did not have the required technology. 40 years ago, the only forms of communication were phones and faxes and it was too expensive to call someone or send them a fax just to make them feel bad. Cyber bullying uses technology to bully others verbally and/or socially. As technology develops and becomes readily available to all, including children and teens, it is very natural that bullies take replicate their abusive forms of communication from real life and in their digital communication.


    Using phone/email/chat/social networking/SMS/text messages to make fun of people.  Using phone/email/chat/social networking/SMS/text messages to threaten or intimidated someone Using digital technology to spread rumors on someone.  Using digital communication to insult someone. Using negative remarks through phone/email/chat/social networking/SMS/text messages.  Revealing secrets without consent using digital media.  Using phone/email/chat/social networking/SMS/text messages to gossip.                                   Excluding someone from digital group interactions or blocking them from accessing information available to their peer group.


    Bullying is a boy thing Fact: It is true that physical attack, which is only one form of bullying, is mostly done by boys, but girls use other forms of bullying, like putting down, name-calling and harassment more than boys do, which can be just as painful as being physically hurt.


     Bullying is a normal stage in kids' development Fact: Bullying is a learned behavior, which is the use of some sort of power to compensate for having a weakness.


     Parents cannot do much to prevent their kids from being bullied: Research has found that kids who have better relationships with their parents are less likely to be bullied. Think about it. A good relationship helps the parents detect the first signs of bullying towards their kids and to solve the problem before it gets out of control.


     Bullying is done face to face only  Fact: Unfortunately, in the last few years, we have a new form of bullying called "cyber bullying". It can be done through social networking sites, emails and even with the use of mobile phones by sending abusive or threatening messages to others.


     In bullying, there are 7 players (all participants take part in the solution):
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