FROM THE INSIDE TO THE OUTSIDE
Bullying, Bully, Bullies
Individual Sessions -
Available to fit your schedule and individual requirements
Groups Sessions -
Our objectives at My Life Direction are as following:
stop aggressive behavior.
To develop alternatives to violence.
develop hope for positive change.
To learn about behaviors that causes other
people to reject you.
decrease inappropriate teasing and decrease sibling rivalry.
To decrease sarcasm and anger in response to
learn and identify self- Angering thoughts.
learn ways to decrease anger.
To learn to release angry feelings through
learn how thoughts of revenge keep you angry
to eliminate the bully and drop and killing of young people
Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose and the person being bullied has a hard time defending himself or herself. Usually, bullying happens over and over, by an individual or group with more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing. Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal and physical.
Some bullies attack their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or even sexual assault. Others use psychological control or verbal insults to put themselves in charge. For example, people in popular groups or cliques often bully people they categorize as different by excluding them or gossiping about them (psychological bullying). They may also taunt or tease their targets (verbal bullying).Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website — practices that are known as cyber bullying. Bullying also can happen online or electronically. Cyber bullying is when children, teens or even adult, bully each other using the Internet, mobile phones or other cyber technology. Sending mean text, email, or instant messages, posting nasty pictures or messages about others in blogs or on Web sites, using someone else's user name to spread rumors or lies about someone.
A bully is a person who
- Has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behavior
- Abdicates and denies responsibility for their behavior and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)
- Is unable and unwilling to recognize the effect of their behavior on others
- Does not want to know of any other way of behaving
- Is unwilling to recognize that there could be better ways of behaving.
- Wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being an adult.
How to spot a bully in your workplace
If you have a bully on the staff that department, or office will showing excessive rates of
- Staff turnover
- Sickness absence
- Stress breakdowns
- Ill-health retirements
- Early retirements
- Uses of disciplinary procedures
- Grievances initiated
- litigation including employment tribunals or legal action against employees
Characteristics of Children Who Bully
· May witness physical and verbal violence or aggression at home.
· They have a positive view of this behavior, and they act aggressively toward other people including adults.
· May hit or push other children.
· Are often physically strong.
· May or may not be popular with other children around their same age.
· Have trouble following rules.
Show little concern for the feelings of others
Many bullies think highly of themselves. They like being looked up to. And they often expect everyone to behave according to their wishes. Children who bully are often not taught to think about how their actions make other people feel.
Children who bully are at risk for school failure and dropout and for committing criminal acts later in life.
Some bullies are big, strong, and physically scary. But the thing you need to remember is that bullies aren’t really strong inside. Inside themselves they feel small, scared and worried that others will really see who they are. Sometimes bullies have been hurt themselves and have a lot of anger inside them that they need to get rid of.
Some bullies are mean because that is the environment in their house-everyone yells and calls names as their form of communication. Others are looking for someone to dominate. Some bullies may just be looking for attention. Some have low self-esteem or are confused about life
What are the signs that a child is being bullied?
The pain and embarrassment of being bullied often causes victims to hide what is going on. But, there are a variety of ways to tell if your child is being bullied. Symptoms include:
- Safety concerns
- Academic issues
- Low self-esteem
- Deficits in peer relations
- Substance use
- Numerous lost belongings
- Frequent injuries or damage to clothes or property
- Spends time primarily with younger students (may indicate a problem with peers)
- Avoids recess (i.e., playground) before, during and/or after school
- Arrives to school late or just at the starting bell
- Appears to be alone most of the time at school
- Obtains an excessive or insufficient amount of sleep
- Somatic complaints (i.e., headaches, stomachaches, etc.)
- loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep
- waits to use the bathroom at home
- arrives home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises
- asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance
- wants to carry a protection item, such as a knife
What are the signs that a child is bullying others?
- Children who bully tend to have:
- Average or above average self-esteem.
- Impulsive personalities.
- Lack of empathy.
- Difficulty conforming to rules.
- Positive attitudes toward violence.
- Some bullies are quite popular, enjoying high status and esteem from their peers, and even teachers. These are called “Hidden bullies” - popular children who exhibit aggression (persistent arguing, fighting, getting in trouble).
What are the Forms of Bullying?
Physical bullying involves harmful actions against another person’s
body. Examples include: biting, kicking, pushing, pinching, hitting,
tripping, and pulling hair, any form of violence or intimidation. Physical bullying also involves the
interference with another person’s property. Sexual harassment or any physical touch without
consent. Abusing someone else's
belongings by taking without permission, stealing, hiding or damaging them in
Verbal bullying involves speaking to a person or about a person in an
unkind or hurtful way. Negative remarks regarding sexual preferences, gender,
age, race, ethnic background, religion, physical appearance, family status,
economic status, skills, abilities or group affiliation Examples include: sarcasm, teasing, put-downs, name calling,
phone calls, spreading rumors or hurtful gossip.
Emotional bullying involves behaviors that upset, exclude, or embarrass
a person. Examples include: nasty notes, saying mean things using
technology (e.g. cyber bullying using emails, instant messaging), chat rooms,
tormenting threatening, humiliation or social embarrassment.
Sexual: Sexual bullying singles out a person because
of gender and demonstrates unwarranted or unwelcome sexual behavior. Examples include: sexual comments, abusive
comments, unwanted physical contact.
Racial bullying involves rejection or isolation of a person because of
ethnicity. Examples include: gestures,
racial slurs or taunts, name calling, making fun of customs/skin
bullying - This form
of bullying abuses our desire to be accepted and part of a group in a negative
way. Bullies who prefers this way of bullying turn the group against others,
mainly because doing it directly and on their own is either too hard or not
enough for them. The main idea is to humiliate the victim and make them
powerless. Remember, it is a power game, in which bullies feel powerless for
some reason and think they will gain power by making another feel inferior
somehow. Lying about someone (blaming
them for a problem) Spreading rumors, Gossiping, Revealing secrets, Making a fool of someone
by playing a nasty joke, Mimicking.
Excluding someone from a group or ostracizing them
bullying - This is the
only modern form of bullying. We did not have it in the past simply because we
did not have the required technology. 40 years ago, the only forms of
communication were phones and faxes and it was too expensive to call someone or
send them a fax just to make them feel bad. Cyber bullying uses technology to
bully others verbally and/or socially. As technology develops and becomes
readily available to all, including children and teens, it is very natural that
bullies take replicate their abusive forms of communication from real life and
in their digital communication.
phone/email/chat/social networking/SMS/text messages to make fun of
people. Using phone/email/chat/social
networking/SMS/text messages to threaten or intimidated someone Using digital technology
to spread rumors on someone. Using
digital communication to insult someone. Using negative remarks through
phone/email/chat/social networking/SMS/text messages. Revealing secrets without consent using
digital media. Using
phone/email/chat/social networking/SMS/text messages to gossip. Excluding
someone from digital group interactions or blocking them from accessing
information available to their peer group.
is a boy thing Fact:
It is true that physical attack, which is only one form of bullying, is mostly
done by boys, but girls use other forms of bullying, like putting down,
name-calling and harassment more than boys do, which can be just as painful as
being physically hurt.
Bullying is a normal stage in kids'
development Fact: Bullying is a learned behavior, which is the use of some
sort of power to compensate for having a weakness.
Parents cannot do much to prevent their kids from being
has found that kids who have better relationships with their parents are less
likely to be bullied. Think about it. A good relationship helps the parents
detect the first signs of bullying towards their kids and to solve the problem
before it gets out of control.
Bullying is done face to face only Fact: Unfortunately, in the last few
years, we have a new form of bullying called "cyber bullying". It can
be done through social networking sites, emails and even with the use of mobile
phones by sending abusive or threatening messages to others.